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Going on a Picnic

How To Play:
Going on a Picnic does not involve packing a basket lunch, loading up the kids in the car and driving to the countryside, rather it does involve some party goers looking for something to do and a bunch of beer. Going on a Picnic requires no extra equipment and can be played basically anywhere. The only thing needed is to have at least one player who actually knows how to play. To become that player, read on.

Going on a Picnic is basically a game where at least one player knows the allowable items for the picnic and   all of the other players are trying to figure out which items they can bring along. To start off, at least one player has to decide what the criteria is for "allowable items". To do this all the player has to do is come up with a series of letters, a word, or a series of words. For example if the player in the know decides that the word 'avocado' is the criteria then whenever another player asks if they can bring an item on the picnic, that item must begin with one of the letters in the word 'avocado'. In other words, if a player asks to bring bananas, the player in the know would tell them that bannanas are not allowed on the picnic. The player who wanted to bring them must now take a sip of their selected beverage. If a player wanted to bring apples then the player in the know would inform them that apples are allowed and the game proceeds to the next player. Once an item has been mentioned it may not be used again. Any player attempting to do so must consume.

Sounds easy doesn't it? Well, that's because it is, unless the player in the know decides to get a little more sophisticated with the criteria. An experienced player could decide that the criteria is the word encyclopedia, allowing only items starting with the letters in the word encyclopedia, and further that these items be allowed only in an order designated by the spelling of encyclopedia . In such an instance, as soon as a player correctly asks to bring an item starting with an 'e' then the next item has to start with an 'n'. This not only keeps things interesting and players always guessing, it usually ensures that no other player is going to correctly guess an item that is allowable on the picnic. In other words, heavy consumption. To help keep players guessing, the player in the know, who also has to mention an item to bring along, should guess an incorrect item now and then, just in case any players thought they knew what was safe. Play continues like this until everyone becomes bored or there is nothing left to drink.

It is allowable to have more than one player in the know. This helps keep moving things along and acts as a sort of double check for what is allowable and what is not. Having two players in the know also helps to keep the game more interesting. For instance, one player in the know could incorrectly request to bring an item and the other disallow it. Be as creative as you can with the criteria. You can choose to have things in reverse order, alternating, etc. The more creative, the more drinking. If a player does manage to figure out the criteria, either by guessing or by putting things together, the players in the know should change the criteria. Have fun!-----------------------------------------------------------------

I Never!
How To Play:
Before we begin we'd like you to take a quick quiz. "I Never" is a game to...

A. ...help you rediscover your own personnel worth in the context of a predominately Judeo-christian society.

B. ...give you a basic overview of the Thermodorian reaction as it pertains to the current French fascination with boarish, telethon stooge Jerry Lewis.

C. ...allow a person to inflate an otherwise infinitesimal sense of self worth at the expense of friends, loved ones, and assorted "strangers in the night."

And you get to drink, too! If you quessed C, you're right. I Never is a simple game. Let's say I'm sitting   beside you and your clan of drinkers and it's my turn. All I have to do is say "Never have I ever...", followed by a statement of some kind. For instance, if I were to say "Never have I ever eaten squash while naked." Anyone in the room who has eaten squash while naked must drink, including me if in fact I'm one of the guilty. ( I'll never tell!) Now, why is this game fun? Well, you may choose to embarrass someone else in the room by saying something to the effect of "Never have I ever obtained carnal knowledge related to one Mr. Boris Yeltsin." A player in the room who has entrusted in you the secret of their passing fling with Mr. Yeltsin, and who had hoped such information would never become public knowledge, would have to drink, thus revealing the affair to everyone present. You can pat yourself on the back, if you will, in much the same fashion. The important thing is that before beginning the game all present must agree to be completely honest and swear that any incriminating evidence that surfaces during the game will never be repeated again. Try not to horribly damage someone's reputation and, for God sakes, don't play if your significant other is present. They may laugh now but, believe me, you'll be crying later.

Our apologies to Mr. Yeltsin and his Family

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