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Zoom Schwartz Parfiglian

How To Play:
Zoom is another in the long line of games that is, by design, discriminatory toward the mute. You don't need cards, you don't need dice, all you have to do is be able to talk. You will also need eyes, as you will have to look at people while you talk. Hence, it is discriminatory not only against the mute but the blind. Further, you may even have to nod, so you will obviously need a head. Thus, it is discriminatory not only against the vocally disadvantaged and the visually impaired but the cranially deficient as well. We feel that everyone should love one another and live together in a happy world. A world without discrimination. A world without mimes. A world where your dry cleaner understands the phrase "light on the starch, pal". So, since we are not in the business of discrimination, it is against are better judgment to go forward with this explanation. So forget it....

Oh, what the hell! Here's how to play. Let the mute, blind, and headless people play their own game.

Get a group of people, at least four is a nice start, and seat yourselves in a circle any where you like. Choose a player to begin. This player must say "Zoom" while looking directly at another player. Now the fun begins. The player who was chosen by the first player has three options, as does each player there after. If the player wishes to move play along to someone else in the room they too may say "Zoom" while looking at the player they choose. If they wish to send play back to the person who chose them they may look at that player and say "Schwartz". Finally, if they wish to send play back to the player who chose them but would like to be sneaky about it, they may look at any one else in the room and say "Parfigliano".

To recap:

A. You can say zoom to every one except the person who passed play to you.

B. You can say "Schwartz" or "Parfigliano" only to the person who just passed the play to you. "Schwartz", you have to look at them. "Parfigliano", you don't.

C. Don't lick a metal pole in sub zero weather. That's it. Speed and accuracy are of the essence. If a player   incorrectly makes a play, like, for instance, "Zooming" a person who just "Zoomed" them, or takes a two month sebatical before deciding what they should say, they should be punished with a drink. Play as fast as you can. Having to people say "schwartz" back and forth to one another for what seems an eternity is quite an experience. It's actually very easy, as long as your not vocally disadvantaged, visually impaired, and cranially deficient. One? You could let it slide. But all three? Tough tomalies kid.

Dedicated to George E. Montgomery, wherever you are, it's time to come home jackass --------------------------------------------------------

Zoom, Zorch, Boink, and Mafigliano
How To Play:
Ok this game takes some time to get a hang of. It's calle Zoom, Zorch, Boink, and Mafigliano. the idea is the you stand in a circle and go clockwise to start off with. You start the game usually by saying Zoom to the person beside you. This means the person beside you either turns the the next player and says Zoom or looks back at you and says Zorch (a reverse) back to you. The other 2 choices are Boink and Mafigliano. They are simply head fakes. You look the way you want it to go and instead of saying Zoom you say Boink. This often fools people but if thats not bad enough when you want to reverse it you look at the person to your other side (the opposite side of the person who sent it to you) and say Mafigliano and it reverses it. It's fairly hard to explain but I hope that you could spread it around because it's really a fun game but only if you've already had a few.

Credit: Chris

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