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Famous Drinking Quotes
1. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -- Albert Einstein
2. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. -- Ambrose Bierce
3. Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink. -- Anonymous
4. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA. -- Anonymous
5. I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. -- Anonymous
6. He who laughs last, hasn't passed out yet. -- Anonymous
7. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. -- Anonymous
8. Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. -- Anonymous
9. To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group. -- Anonymous
10. Scotch - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine. -- Anonymous
11. History flows forward on rivers of beer. -- Anonymous
12. Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder -- Anonymous
13. Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. -- Anonymous
14. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. -- Anonymous
15. As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound! -- Austin Powers
16. He that drinks fast, pays slow. -- Benjamin Franklin
17. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin
18. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -- Catherine Zandonella
19. In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer. -- Dave Barry
20. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry
21. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. -- Dave Barry
22. Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine. -- David Moulton
23. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin
24. We drink and we die and continue to drink. -- Dennis Leary
25. Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. -- Drew Carey
26. One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough. -- Edward Burke
27. Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under any goddamn table you want, so don't worry about me. -- Elizabeth Taylor
28. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -- Ernest Hemingway
29. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools. -- Ernest Hemmingway
30. The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. -- Fran Lebowitz
31. A man is a fool is he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward. -- Frank Lloyd Wright
32. I feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they wake up, that's best they feel all day -- Frank Sinatra
33. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa
34. Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. -- George Bernard Shaw
35. Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. -- George Burns
36. I drink to make other people interesting. -- George Jean Nathan
37. The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful, and a snootful at the same time? -- Gerald R. Ford
38. My nerves could use a drink. -- Grace Kelly
39. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngman
40. If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - Or any other reason why. -- Henry Aldrich
41. Here's to alcohol.....the cause of AND solution to ...all of life's problems. -- Homer Simpson
42. To alcohol... The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. -- Homer Simpson
43. All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. -- Homer Simpson
44. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. -- Humphrey Bogart
45. I never should have switched from Scotch to Martinis. -- Humphrey Bogart
46. The whole world is about three drinks behind. -- Humphrey Bogart
47. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -- Humphrey Bogart
48. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver -- Jack Handy
49. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. -- Jack Handy
50. One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough. -- James Thurber
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| Required Reading |
| Forget textbooks! Get Maxim, Rolling Stone, GQ, and more! |
| Your Pad |
| Get posters, blacklights, and candles to decorate your place! |
| Drinking Devices |
| You will not find these in Wal-Mart. Get the party started with these necessities! |
| Everything Sexual |
| Edible body paints, condoms and everything else you need! |
| Customized Items |
| Customized shirts, mugs, and hats for your fraternity, sorority, or group! |
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