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The life of a Grad Student
The effects of graduate study on mind and stomach:

This evening, I was sitting in the breakfast room of the Graduate College residence hall, caffeinated and reading. A reception was held there a couple hours ago, and a few trays of munchies were still scattered about the room.

  A fellow grad drops by, chats for a minute, then suddenly fixates on the table behind me. "Are those ... cookies?" he asks in weary disbelief. "Free?"
"Naw, just a mirage," I mumble, "probably just a big pile of sand."
"Oh," he replies, his gaze dropping to the table with a genuine (or pretty darned convincing) look of disappointment. After a short pause he looks back up and asks, with a little hope in his voice, "do you think the sand _tastes_ like cookies?"

Fair Winds and Following Seas!
Required Reading
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Your Pad
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Drinking Devices
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Everything Sexual
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Customized Items
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