What College Really Is About ...
Your are in the college now...
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    Forget Textbooks
        
        
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Not In College Anymore When...
You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.

Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.

College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.

Your parents charge rent.

Your parents walk in on you having sex, not your roommate.

The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen and cereal.

It's 'getting late' when it's 11:00 p.m.

Three words: School Loan Payments.

You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche.

You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively. Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end.

THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, phone rates and tonsil hockey; NOW: IRA's, Interest rates and their kid's orthodontia.

Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.

Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.

  Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

Your girlfriend being pregnant brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries.

Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.

The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.

The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.

You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN, Sportscenter and MTV News.

Random hook-ups are no longer acceptable.

You wear more ties/skirts in a week than you even owned while taking classes.

You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.

You empathize with the characters from 'Friends".

METABOLISM SLOWDOWN

Football "season tickets" go FROM $75 for the season with dozens of friends to $750 for the season with the three other guys who want to get away from the family.

Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.

You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.

When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it down the same as I used to'.

You are the only person over the age of 16 in your neighborhood with a Sega.

Required Reading
Forget textbooks! Get Maxim, Rolling Stone, GQ, and more!
Your Pad
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Drinking Devices
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Everything Sexual
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