SHIT HAPPENS IN VARIOUS WORLD RELIGIONS
TAOISM -- Shit happens.
CONFUCIANISM -- Confucius say, "shit happens."
BUDDHISM -- If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
ZEN -- What is the sound of shit happening?
HINDUISM -- This shit happened before.
ISLAM -- If shit happens, it's the Will of Allah.
When shit happens, kill Salman Rushdie.
If shit happens, kill the person(s) responsible.
PROTESTANTISM -- Let shit happen to someone else.
If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
CATHOLICISM -- If shit happens, you deserved it.
JUDAISM -- Why does shit always happen to US?
REFORM JUDAISM -- Got any Kaopectate?
EXISTENTIALISM -- Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES -- No shit happens until Armaggedon.
SECULAR HUMANISM -- Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE -- When shit doesn't happen, don't call a doctor--pray.
SHIT HAPPENS IN VARIOUS OPERATING SYSTEMS
Unix Shit Happened. Core dumped.
Macintosh [Icon of Shit] Shit Happened ID = 02 [Disabled Resume Button] [Enabled Restart Button]
MS-DOS Shit!
SHIT HAPPENS IN VARIOUS PEOPLE
Ronald Reagan -- I don't recall if shit happed
Nancy Reagan -- Just say shit happened
George Bush -- Read my lips, Shit happened, this brown little one
M.L.King -- I have a shit
J.F. Kennedy -- Ich bin ein Scheisser
Aristole -- I am shit. But I know I am shit
Nietzsche -- If shit never happened, men will create shit
Galileo -- They say shit never happened. But shit is still happening
Pascal -- We are just shit. But we are thinking shit
Descartes -- I shit therefore I am
Einstein -- God never play shit
Heisenberg -- The more accurately we observe when shit happened the less accurately we observe how big the shit happened
Schrodinger -- There's 50% chance shit happened. And 50% chance it didn't
Russel -- 90% of everything is shit
Gagarin -- Shit was blue
Armstrong -- This is just a little shit. But this is a great shit of mankind
Bart Simpson -- I will not say 'Shit Happened' in the class
Al Bundy -- This is shit. This is shit when you get married and drop the shit on the ground.
HAL Dave, I'm in Deep Shit
Dr. Chandra, will I shit?
Dave -- Oh my god! It's full of shit!
Obi Wan -- Use your shit, Luke
Marty Mcfly -- Don't ever never call me shit
Backaroo Banzai -- No matter where shit happens, there you are
Gremlins -- Don't shit after 12 o'clock
Jessica Rabbit -- I'm not shit. I'm just drawn that way
Robocop -- Please stay out of deep shit
Michael Valentine Smith -- Shit groks
1st Law of Robotics -- Robotics should not shit or let shit come to happen.
Hari Seldon -- Each shit is random. But mob of shit is predicable
God -- Holy Shit!
This is a compilation of messages posted to rec.humor and rec.humor.funny. Listed below are the contributors:
sandy@anasaz.UUCP (Sandy Young)
dankg@tornado.Berkeley.EDU (Dan KoGai)
stuart@orac.hq.ileaf.com (Stuart Freedman x1708)
io!ileaf!sunne!East!bruces (Bruce Sesnovich)
pszila@u.washington.edu (Peter Szilard)
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