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Scary Roommie Tales
Be afraid. . . be very afraid!

***

"We interviewed new housemates. One thing I learned was that people don't check their references. I can't tell you how many people I called for references said, you don't want anything to do with that @#$#%. When we finally found one guy, a graduate student in a specialized discipline of psychology, we thought he would work out. But he seemed a little ... odd. He moved in, sleeping in the basement until the first house manager moved out, which seemed a bit strange, but again he seemed normal. But after a while I noticed that his reactions to things seemed studied, as if he were unsure of what emotions or reactions he should have so he had to figure them out. Almost like an alien in human guise. Then he got progressively more strange, then angry and violent, and ended up whacking one of the original housemates over the head with a jug of antifreeze. It turns out he decided to go off his medication. We were concerned that he might do this again so we asked him to leave. He made death threat phone calls, which obviously didn't change our minds. You would think no one could have been worse than this guy, but we had a roommate that might be considered in the running for that award. The first night she moved in, she called the police because she heard one of us taking the trash cans to the street. She said she thought someone was stealing the lawn furniture, but I think she just didn't like any noise after she went to bed. After a few more run-ins she had with other housemates, I refunded half her month's rent in advance and gave her two weeks to find a new place."

***

"First of all the guy was extremely overweight. One time my husbands friend stayed the night and woke up to roommate in the living room in little purple Speedo underwear. All you could see was the back side of him because his stomach hung over the front and sides. He was rude to anyone my husband had over. When he   answered the phone he didn't say hello he just said "yea" in a grunting manner. If my husband wasn't home he wouldn't take messages he would just say "no he's not" and hang up the phone. Roommate also stunk really, really bad. When he woke up in the morning he would sit in HIS chair and make these gross smacking noises and clear phlegm from his throat for hours while he stared at the TV. There were times where he smelled so bad people had to leave the apartment when he came out of his room so they wouldn't vomit. Roommate had hair all over his back and would trim himself in the bathroom. There would be 1/2-inch long hairs all over the sink, floor, and counter. Roommate had a very strange sleeping schedule where he would be up all night long for days and then sleep for 24 hours after a few days of this. He would use methamphetamines and smoke pot all the time. He would walk in late at night with his bong in a paper sack and stumble through the house, as if no one would notice the bong stem hanging out of the sack. He stumbled in one night drunk and stoned and fell into the closet door. The next morning he blamed my husband's best friend for breaking the door. One day all of his roommate's things were gone. He had disconnected the phone and cable. My husband had two weeks to find a new roommate or get out because the apartments' policy was there must be two people in a two-bedroom. It turns out he took several of my husband's things when he left shot glasses, a brand new water jug, movies, CD's, pots and pans, and several other things. My husband found a new roommate in time and never asked for his stuff back. He was glad to be rid of this character."

***

"First of all, she dropped out of school and told me about it a month later. After she dropped out of school, she would sleep all day and leave piles of her crap wherever she felt like dropping them. She would take hour-long showers, and leave rolled up balls of hair lined up on the side of the bathtub where they would sit collecting for a week or more. Then she started bringing drunk men home from the bar she worked at. She would be loud and obnoxious and put a movie into MY VCR and watch it on MY TV with her loud, drunk loser friend (s). This of course was with no regards for my sleep, and I would never get an apology. She would also do things like cook something at 3:00 a.m., and then I would go into the kitchen the next day in the AFTERNOON, and find the oven on. When confronted with this, she would just blow it off like leaving an unattended oven on for 13 hours was no big deal. Also, she claims herself to be this perfect Catholic girl, and gets Catholic (puke) Digest in the mail. This from a girl who never attends church, who had an abortion using money she stole from her brother's business (and has no remorse for either act). When she told me she wanted to move out on her own to "find herself", I was glad! This past weekend was moving out day, and she was supposed to leave the phone in my name and get a new number, as I was staying in the apartment. Without telling me, she cancelled the phone, so I found this out when someone left a message with my parents wondering why I didn't have a phone anymore. She also stole about half of my good pots, pans, baking sheets, coffee mugs, etc. and won't admit it. I am quite enraged about the whole thing."

***

"[The roommate] promised me that he was a clean person. I did not write up an agreement between us or a receipt for a $250.00 security deposit, because we were supposed to be friends. He did not help clean the place or do the yard work. He blasted his music and made a nuisance of himself to everyone. He did illegal drugs on a regular basis. He also bragged about charging on a stolen credit card. Late at night, he would sell drugs. Me & my other roommate decided to move out and gave him a 90-day oral notice. He said he would start looking for a place. 4 days before we were supposed to move out, he claimed that he didn't have a place. Now he's claiming that we kicked him out with no notice! He moved out without cleaning, leaving the carpet in his room a filthy brown shade, instead of the original white color that it once was. He also damaged the linoleum in his bathroom, which cost $400.00 to repair, broke a tile piece in the kitchen and left mold & mildew stains throughout the bathroom. I had to throw away my $40.00 shower curtain because it was covered with mold. He also left without paying any of the utility bills and took my daughter's Nintendo game with him. Thanks to his damages, me & my roommate lost a $695.00 security deposit that we put in for the house. Now, he's taking me & my roommate to small claims court for his $250.00 security deposit. The sad part is I thought he was my friend."

***

"My roommate frightened me from the first second I saw her. Even my mother hated her, and that is an extreme rarity for her. Now, I go to school out of state, so I never ever go home, and neither did my   roommate. The first week of school, I get the old "do not disturb sign" on the door. She is calling him 24-7; he starts calling at 1 in the morning every time she leaves. She is on the phone with him every night telling him she misses the sex, and she needs to know that her body is okay, with me right there!!! She tells me unwanted tales of sexual history, such as where she lost her virginity (Wal-Mart parking lot). The microfridge cost 100 dollars for a semester, how much did she pay? $0. She also was always on my computer and using my printer without my permission. She must have forgotten her keys at least 10 times, and she woke me up at 2 am one time to let her in. One night, she left all the lights and the TV on, so I write a letter to my mom about how she is annoying me. I never send it, but instead leave it under some things in my drawer. So I already hate this girl, and I am just waiting for the semester to come to a close so I can get the hell away from her. I go to visit my boyfriend, and when I get back, everything seems normal. Then, come to find out, she is telling all of these people she knows that I hate her, cause she "found a letter on the floor" saying I hated her. It was in my drawer. SO I wrote a mean letter about her to my mom, knowing damn well she would read it, and then she moved out the same day, and started sleeping across the hall. After she moved out, not only did she lie to other people about what had happened, but also she told our RA that I hated her (the RA), and that I thought she was a terrible RA. What a freaking backstabber!"

***

"I will attempt to keep this short. I had to get a roommate in a hurry because my boyfriend had moved out and I couldn't afford my place alone so I put an ad in the paper--the first and last time I will ever do that. At first things were fine; she seemed nice and we got along. Over time she started not having the money for rent on time and occasionally not at all. Then she decided her boyfriend needed to move in, although he never did pay any rent. One weekend I came home to discover that my cat had a gash on his head and my roommate had a black eye. Her boyfriend tells me that he dropped a frying pan on my cat. I have no idea how anyone does that. And my roommate told me that the boyfriend hit her. I told her I wanted him out of the house. She refused to kick him out. He says that she jumped on him and he shoved her off. Fine, I want them both out. They tell me they will leave in two weeks--fine. I go spend the night at my boyfriend's house one night and come back to find all their stuff gone. I was so excited. I walked into her room and found that not only had she ruined the carpet with hot wax, not only had she written all over the walls, but she had wiped cat shit all over the walls. What kind of psycho human being does that sort of thing?
Editor's Note: The answer lies in the question.] Anyway, before I moved out a week later I needed to get all that cleaned up and pay her part of the rent all to a tune of about $600. Oh, and did I forget to mention that she stole a bunch of my kitchen implements and tools?"

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