***

"On the first day of school, everyone moves in. I am sorry, but I forgot the guy's name (three years ago). Let's just call him Mark. Mark enters the suite wearing an orange shirt, purple shorts, knee high socks, and A BIG ASS BELT BUCKLE. I had never seen anything like it. He also had one of those fuzzy little mustaches and a beeper. Anyway his mother is helping him move in. Of course that is his mother, she must be at least 40. OH MY GOD, ITS HIS GIRLFRIEND. This was the weirdest thing I had ever seen. He promptly set up his computer and the two of them sat there with him typing away and her looking over his shoulder. We later found out that he had met her because he had been dating her daughter the previous year. Anyway, as you can imagine, he was a problem. The guy that roomed with him was an ultra-shy guy who couldn't say anything to him. After a few months shy guy finally said something to him about something. The freak then moved all his own furniture to the center of the room to distinguish A LINE DOWN THE MIDDLE! He then referred to his roommate as "Mr. Trouble". That poor guy barely ever talked!"

***

"I went to meet my fantastic roommate, and not only is she severely overweight but she smells and has greasy hair and wears TONS of makeup on a face that could never be pretty. It was decided I would take the top bunk, but the only way to get up onto the bed was to climb on a chair next to the bed and step on the corner of her desk. It really bit because every time I would climb up I would collapse my shin on the metal bar and to get down you had to jump.
  "When I came home at 2 or 3 I creeped in the door so I wouldn't wake her. But when I opened the door I saw her and friends sitting on my comforter spread on the tile floor eating my food with their asses on my pillows. When I asked what the hell was going on, she said she used my blankets because they wouldn't show the dust as much and she had allergies and couldn't be mopping the floor with her blankets.
"My mother had bought me a fan because it was ridiculously hot. Well I came home after 4 hours in the 95-degree weather, but my fan was placed on her desk while she typed at her computer. I stood behind her and hinted at how hot I was and wasn't the fan awesome, etc. (hint hint) and she turned around and asked if I was going to be there long! Then I went to put on the new sneakers my mom had bought me that I had never worn, and they were nowhere to be found. I asked her if she had seen them. She said, "Oh, I borrowed them because mine were in my car, I hope you don't mind." I opened her closet and there were my new shoes all scraped up, muddy, and stinky. I told her never to touch my stuff again. I put on some other shoes and went to meet some friends. When I got back her boyfriend was there lying on her bed with no shirt on and zits all over his back. Not only was he unashamed by his appearance, but he had the gall to ask if I would "disappear" for the weekend so they could be alone. I said NO and didn't return until much later. When I went in it was very dark. As I was stepping up to get in my bed, a male voice told me I had on red underwear. A while later I was awakened by the bed rocking and slamming against the wall. I went upstairs to see my RA. He came down and said that if he [the boyfriend] wasn't welcome by me in the room then he would have to leave. The next day I found a note on my desk bitching that I step on her chair and don't put it back tucked under the desk when I am done. And that I can't use the phone between 7 and 9 PM because that's when she gets calls. I talked to the RA and she was moved to another room. She moved in with another girl and 6 days later dropped out of school. I ended up with an excellent suite all to myself."

***

"My friend, indeed, has the worst roommate. The first day, all she [the roommate, hereinafter referred to as X] could talk about was how great she was and how pretty she thought she was and that if a guy didn't look at her, then he must be gay. So after that, we all realized that she had a huge ego problem, but you meet people like that and it didn't bother us. Her roommate [whom I will call Y] was very quiet and didn't do anything without X. After a while, things got worse. X started to treat Y like X's slave. Whatever X wanted Y did. Well, also X stopped going to class. She said she didn't need to go to class because she would carry an acorn in her book bag, which she believed would give her good grades. Y decided to make new friends without X always being around. X did not like this and took Y's room key and hid it, which meant Y had to be back at a certain time or she would get locked out. So one night Y went out and didn't tell X where she was going. So for 5 hours X went to look for Y. When Y finally got back, X made her go to her room as soon as possible. So Y said no, but eventually went to her room to find her bed pushed out of the room. The bed, besides being completely flipped upside down, was also soaking wet because X poured water all on Y's bed. Anyway, X threatened to beat me over the head with a glass bottle but then decided against it. The next night X would not let Y into the room. X also has a noose hanging in her closet as well as a butcher's knife hiding in her drawer."

***

"I have a bunch of stories. It seems that the people in the Residential Services offices had it out for me. My first bad roommate was 44 years old, freshly divorced, and had his liver and kidneys transplanted after many years of heavy alcohol and drug abuse. Furthermore, his speech was slurred heavily from the affects of his youthful behavior. He started dating really ugly strippers after his divorce. At least I never had the pleasure of walking in on them in a compromising position. His naps would last from 1 PM until 1 AM. So, no sooner than I went to sleep, I was awakened by the most vile brew of coffee ever known to man. He then turned on all of the lights, went and took a shower, and would call his ex-wife to tell her in very graphic language, how much he missed her sexually. He also would wake me up at the most god awful hours to read me the most awful poetry. When you asked him what he meant by it, he said, 'That's just it! It doesn't mean anything.' He had the habit of disappearing to his mother's house for days at a time toward the end of the semester. Needless to say, he decided dorm life was no longer for him.
"The next semester, the underlords of the dorms decided that I had not suffered enough. I was blessed with Frat Rat. The classic story that involves him is one night he came in at 4:30 AM, out of breath, reeking of alcohol and marijuana. He proceeded to tell me that he wrapped his car around a telephone pole a mile down the road and had to walk back to campus. He then decided that he had the munchies. So in between slapping me on the back to make sure that I was awake and flashing the lights on and off, he cooked his favorite meal: Ramen noodles cooked in a saucepan in a toaster oven. He would proceed to pour them into a large mixing bowl and DRINK them, slurping happily along the way to the wonderful sounds of Rage Against the Machine BLARING down the hall. He then would play video games on my computer, spewing profanities at the screen because he was too inebriated to play the games. I finally put a password on my computer so that I would only have to endure loud slurping and slaps on the back in the middle of the night."

***

"One of my roomies was great. We'll call her Liz. She was the perfect roomie, always paid her bills on time, cleaned up after herself, etc. Now we move on to the second roomie, who I found out is completely psycho. Let's call her Tracey. She shared a room with Liz. She would lock Liz out of the room and have sex with different guys every night. Tracey would get drunk almost every night and puke all over the house. She ate all of the food Liz and I bought and never once bought food. She would leave the milk out on the counter all day and it would go bad, and she did that with every other kind of food she could get her hands on. It was disgusting; you can't imagine what our house smelled like. Finally, Liz and I decided we'd get our own place. We packed almost everything and started moving. We stayed the night at our new place and came back the next morning to get the last few items we had left. When we opened the front door, we found boxes blocking the door. What was really sick was that Tracey had taken all the dirty dishes out of the dishwasher and fridge and just dumped them into boxes, even though they had food in them. She also threw all of the food into these boxes along with a few clothes we had left behind. Well, Tracey was very lucky she wasn't there when we found this, because we were ready to knock her psycho butt down! We took the boxes to Liz's truck and packed them. We had noticed that several things we thought we'd left behind were nowhere to be seen. So we started snooping through Tracey's things and guess what we found? Our clothes iron, some panties that belonged to me (but that I let her keep), my watch, Liz's CD's...and many more things. By this point, Liz and I are livid. Well, guess who walks in? Yes, Tracey. She sees us snooping through her stuff and when she saw that we had pulled our belongings into a separate pile, she got pissed. She came charging at us. Well, I knocked her down and told her off. Finally, Liz and I left."

***

"I have a really awful roommate. For one thing, she is totally inconsiderate of me. For another thing, she tries to make me look like I'm the bad roommate. When I am trying to sleep, she will come in and turn on all of the lights, turn her stereo volume all the way up, bring her friends in and proceed to have a loud conversation. She smokes, drinks, and has illicit sex with any old guy she happens to come across. She thinks that I am boring because I don't do any of that stuff. I don't smoke because I have asthma. She doesn't care that her smoking causes me to stop breathing and she thinks that I do it to be a dork! For some reason she is the most popular person in our dorm. She uses her popularity to try and turn people against me. For example, she told everyone that I said she hated black people (btw I'm black), and I never said anything like that. She says that when I get up to use the bathroom or get dressed for school I disturb her 'beauty sleep,' even though I am being as quiet as I can. I don't know why people like her so much. She only washes about once a week, and she will wear clothes a whole day, sleep in them and then get up the next day and wear them all day again (sometimes several days in a row). She has washed her clothes maybe twice this semester, then she complains that our room smells. She likes to keep the window open all the time, even though she has a fan. Being that I am on the window side, it is my stuff that gets blown around and I am the one who freezes to death. Also, she has told people that she has oral herpes and she acts like it is no big deal. She obviously has not had to share or compromise at all. I can't count how many times I have looked up and seen her giving me an evil stare for no reason. Once I walked past her in the hall and she pretended that she was shooting me. So, at the moment I am working on a room change. I figure that any roommate I get can't be as bad as her."

***

"The first story is a story about some friends of mine [I'll call them Moe and Curly]. Moe was a short fat kid who was extremely annoying. He was also a compulsive liar. And a thief. After many months of being as nice to him as everyone possibly could, he disappeared. He re-appeared about a month later, with a word of explanation to no one. His parents called and explained that Moe had been placed in a mental institution, and to try not to stress him out. Well, Curly and his friends being the gentle men they are, immediately set about trying to send Moe over the edge: they poured slimfat all over his bed and the floor and poured water on it to make it a lovely paste and hid all his cd's and God knows what else. As hoped, Moe completely lost it and had to leave school. There are still Moe sightings to this day. And I'm not really sure who I feel sorrier for.
"My story is less tragic. I lived in an apartment in with 6 other girls. Most of them were fantastic. But one girl [whom I will call Norma, as in Bates], who was a normal person to begin with, slowly became insane and demented. One day my roomie [a different one] forgot to wash one of Norma's pans, so Norma collected all of her cookware and stored it in her room so no one else could use it. Things continued like this until her room resembled a storage closet. Norma's roommate was getting pretty fed up and started to make fun of Norma and her boyfriend. Norma and [her bf] had sex all the time, and it was sort of a disgusting thought, since neither of them are overly attractive. Norma's roommate started to leave rabbit figurines on Norma's pillow and would yell 'RABBIT' at her at every opportunity.
"The second feud began between me and another roomie [I'll call her Suzanne] against Suzanne's roommate [how about Megan?]. Megan had this annoying habit of sleeping with any guy any of us were ever interested in. After sleeping with a guy I liked and a guy that Suzanne liked, we got fed up and refused to talk to her. This continued for quite some time. Eventually Megan moved out and has screwed the majority of men in Philadelphia, including her cousin, and Norma and [her bf] got married. The rest of us are still normal [relatively speaking]."

***

"You want a roommate story here it goes. I had this guy watch my dog while I went away for about a week. The guy kept my dog out on the patio and didn't clean up his feces and stuff...FOR A WEEK. He also neglected to tell me that the cops came to the apt. because I had to squirt the stuff off the patio and it sprayed on the neighbors patio who was black and thought it was a race crime. She called the cops and he didn't tell. But now it gets good. This guy became a born again Christian and had prayer parties all night (you know about 5 guys reading from the Bible in your living room for about 3 hours at a time...EVERY NIGHT). Then he met this girl on the Internet and decided to call her in Canada every night on my calling card. Oh, did I mention that I LIVED IN FLORIDA? So he charged $1200 to my calling card. When we finally left because he couldn't make the rent for two months because he lost his job and somehow couldn't get another, he went to Pennsylvania and I haven't heard from him since. I found out about the $1200 in charges after he left..."

***

"This guy had a head injury. Head injuries kill your sense of smell, tend to cause personality changes, particularly a reduced awareness, but increased expression of aggression, and disjointed speech. Oh joy - this guy could carry on a conversation with himself for half an hour a couple times a day, and unfortunately did his best to keep me standing by listening to his verbal diarrhea. His attempts at exposition were littered with model dialogues expressing the character of a viciously stupid beast who is also a self-professed 'sensitive guy.' His clearest expressions of thought were 'I don't _think_ so' and 'It ain't gonna happen.' Then when he became upset at me for various imaginary reasons, he swore and screamed in my face with his beery breath. Oh yeah, and he drank a lot. Sixty percent of head injuries are caused by alcohol abuse. I don't wonder how he got his. Mr. 'Self-employed' couldn't afford to run his precious old red car, or to pay me back my damage deposit. Why did I have to leave? Because he moved in some bimbette and had her sleeping on the living room floor, with him, even though his bedroom was 50 per cent larger than mine, just so that I would feel even more uncomfortable being in the common area. And oh yeah, my sense of smell is very discriminating. Since he didn't have a sense of smell, he never used the kitchen fan while cooking and my room was constantly filled with the stench of sour tomato soup, which is what his chili and spaghetti both smelled like. He and Miss Job-hunter were both broke, so they were at home every evening cooking up the scraps and romancing each other. When I got mad at him I told him they were both the stupidest people I'd ever met. I didn't take it back when I cooled down, because it's true."

***

"I had a roommate who had no money, and no food of her own. She mooched off of me, and always smoked in the room I was in, even though I'm allergic to it. She'd always ask to borrow my stuff, and if I said no, she'd get really mad and start cussing. One day I walked in on her and she had on my underwear. She tried to hide in the closet. She had to be at least 5 sizes bigger than me. She slammed the door to the bathroom so much that the doorframe broke. She used everyone's towels but her own. She asked to store her cigarettes in my refrigerator because, and I quote, 'they're fresher that way.' When I said no, she did it anyway, and it didn't matter that I don't smoke, all my food tasted like tobacco. At long last I kicked her out, but here's the real kicker. She still dropped by once a month to 'borrow' tampons. Sorry, but who would want them back?"

***

"My roommate and his friends consider it their God-given right to torment me and everyone I know. In the beginning, everything was fine. I considered him to be just your average guy, in fact, too average for my taste. I didn't think that there was any problem, but every time I walked into the room, he and his friends would giggle uncontrollably. Finally, I asked him what was so funny about me coming into the room. He told me that he and his friends thought I was a vampire. As the story goes, they believe that I am a vampire and all of my friends are in my army of darkness. They believe that I was put on earth to destroy everything good and decent and that it is their mission to stop me. They have done several things; the most memorable was to put a glow in the dark cross over my bed. They've also tormented my friends to the point that they cry. They also have a strange habit of answering the phone with a string of profane words. The story gets stranger. At times, all three of them will lay on one bed together and play a horse racing video game for hours at a time. For revenge, I have decided to permanently decorate my side of the room for Halloween, complete with a shrine to Marilyn Manson."

***

"Ok, so let's talk about moldy underwear. My freshman year, living in the dorms, complete with communal bathrooms, I had this roommate. Most girls on the hall had a bucket that they carried to the showers containing all of their bathroom needs. My roommate had a Rubbermaid box with a lid. After a few days of coming back to the room and smelling this hideous odor, I asked her if the cause of it was anything of hers. She said no and changed the subject. Well, she went to night class and for the first time as roommates, I snooped through her stuff. When I opened her shower box, there were a few pairs of panties (I didn't count) encased in a nice green fuzzy layer of mold. (That would be when I retched) When she returned to the room, I brought up shower boxes and their tendency to grow mold in them. Sometime while I was out of the room, she transported those nasty pairs of moldy panties to her laundry basket, which, lucky me, happened to be under my bed because we had bunk beds and I had the bottom one. That night, for the first time in my life, I said a prayer...it went something like this: 'Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, please don't let me die of moldy underwear, thank you.'"

***

Scott had two roommates worthy of this page. When Scott arrived at his room, this roommate was playing music louder than Scott could even think. This playing of loud music continued throughout the semester, along with the guy smoking bongs with the windows closed. While this was going on, Scott's other roommate received a shipment of pot. He wanted to get rid of it, so Scott's first roommate agreed to sell it at a rave he was going to. The guy never came back. His parents called for sometime afterward, but eventually the got the idea. Kind of a shame, since the guy had a full ride. This other roommate would take hour-and-a-half long showers and would tell Scott what fun he had in the shower by himself. The guy's girlfriend sneaked in one night, and Scott woke up to find the two doing the nasty! Scott decided the best way to deal with this would be to take some NyQuil and fall asleep. The next day, the roommate became quite upset because he was expecting to use Scott's bed! However, he dumped his girlfriend the next day, so that became a moot point. However, the guy still sells pot, and people come to the room all the time asking to buy some.

***

Andrew had a roommate with some rather kinky habits. There was the usual not doing the dishes, eating all the food, and whatnot, but these were minor infractions compared to other things. For example, one night, this roommate brought a girl home, which was fine. They sat on the couch for a while until someone else knocked on the door. It was another girl for Andrew's roommate! The three of them went into this guy's room and made loud, strange noises until about 3 in the morning. One time, when the roommate went home for the weekend, Andrew was just chilling out and watching videos. Andrew was looking for something else to watch and popped in this unmarked video. It turned out to be a recording of his roommate and the two girls. Even worse, it turned that the two girls were actually guys!

***

Mike went to bed one night, hoping to get plenty of sleep for his 8:00 test the next morning. Boy, was he wrong! His roommate came in totally trashed at 2:00 AM, made some phone calls to tell everyone how drunk he was, sang to himself, finally crawled up to his bunk, and finally puked over the side (fortunately, he missed Mike's bed). Mike was simply appalled and left the room. A friend down the hall offered to let Mike sleep in a spare mattress he had available. Unfortunately, this friend's roommate was quite inebriated as well and by 5:00 AM was puking all over the room. Mike and his friend decided they would be better off dragging their mattresses into the hall and sleeping there. At about 6:30, Mike heard a disturbingly familiar sound. He looked into his friend's room and found the inebriated roommate urinating all over the place! Here's the kicker: later on that day, Mike discovered that his roommate had been telling everyone what a jerk Mike was for not even offering to clean up the vomit all over the floor!

***

Marie made the mistake of bringing her roommate home with her one weekend. This roommate had a one-night stand with some boy half her age that she had known for an hour. She would also swipe black plastic plates from a local restaurant and shove them under the counter. Marie discovered these plates after they had been collecting mold for three months! This roommate also kept it freezing cold, even in winter, so Marie was often ill during this time period. This roommate was engaged and would bring stuff in from bridal showers and throw the stuff on the floor and not pick it up! Finally, the stuff got so messy that Marie had to shovel some of it out of the way so she could navigate through the room, and said roommate got upset for touching her stuff! This roommate would come in at odd hours and turn on the lights, stereo, and the TV. Marie rarely got her messages from this roommate either. When Marie had a death in the family, the roommate not only showed no sympathy, but failed to give Marie an important message about when her father was going to pick her up for the funeral! Later on in the semester, this roommate called Marie's mom and cussed her out, saying that Marie needed to get her priorities straight (just for the record, Marie put school first). The most amazing thing is this roommate asked Marie if she wanted to room with her again the next year!

***

Denise had two problematic roommates to deal with. I'll let you see the description of the first one in Denise's own words: "3 eviction notices. Phone service terminated 3 times. Cable turned off twice. Creditors calling 24/7. Loser boyfriend over 24/7. Nymphomaniac. Specialized in running up bills she couldn't pay. Flunked out of college. Spent many a semester on academic probation before doing so. Fat and ugly. Rude to my friends and people who called for me. Rubbed her relationship with her boyfriend in my face while I was going through an awful breakup. Checks bouncing left and right. No life. Get the idea?"
Yes, Denise, we get the idea. The other roommate was in general a clingy little mooch who was always trying to borrow money and other things from Denise, but when that wouldn't work, this person would resort to outright theft. She was also a whiny, unsanitary person who ditched Denise with $200 in assorted bills!

***

Jenny had a roommate move in while she was home for Christmas break. This guy had a cat that took over Jenny's room while she was gone. When Jenny came back and tried to reclaim her room, the cat attacked her and scratched and clawed Jenny's face. Jenny finally had to barricade herself in her room with her furniture so the cat couldn't get in. In a later incident, the cat "sprayed" Jenny's favorite winter coat, thus ruining it, since Jenny couldn't get the smell out.

***

Kelly went home one weekend. She shouldn't have done that. Kelly's roommate decided to invite her high-school-aged sister to stay for the weekend. Li'l Sis slept in Kelly's bed, which was OK. Well, the two sisters decided to go out and get smashed. When they got in, Li'l Sis puked all over Kelly's bed. The roommate figured that she wouldn't have to do anything if she covered it up with a blanket, so that's what she did. Of course, when Kelly came in, she was horrified by what she found. What's funny is the roommate never said anything.

***

  Brian had not one, but two awful roommates to deal with. One roommate would rise around 7 pm and spend the evening in his bed "chain smoking, drinking beer and watching b-grade movies," as Brian put it. Brian would be awakened around 3 or 4 in the morning by the sounds of furniture moving, the sounds of this guy's computer, or "an extended description of the life of an ant by a nature correspondent on the BBC World." In the morning, the guy would be asleep and would have left some note telling someone to take out the trash or pay the electric bill. He also messed up the kitchen, filled Brian's cups with ash, and messed up the plumbing. Brian had yet another roommate kept dishes in his room that at one time were perhaps used for meals, but were by this time merely collecting fungus.

"My first roommate was a pompous ass. As soon as I moved into my single room she would come barging in my room to copy my papers for her answers. But I said "I am not going to give you my work to copy answers from me onto your paper," and I said nicely, "Please leave my room this instant." She didn't want to reason, so we ended up in a fight and I fell down and twisted my ankle in the process. The next morning I woke up and my shoe wouldn't fit on my right foot and I ended up wearing a bedroom slipper on my right foot and a tennis shoe on my left foot. During breakfast, Roomie and her pompous asshole friends were laughing at me and my boyfriend came over to my table and asked if she needed a lesson to be taught. I said, "Go teach her the lesson what happens to friends who make fun of others and tries to cheat her way through college." Roomie came up to me and started throwing punches at me. I said I have a bodyguard. He came to my aid and said, "This will take one minute." He picked up Roomie and threw her over the stair railing from 3 stories to the 1st floor and he said, "I hope you learned a lesson ass hole and if you don't leave my girl alone we will meet again!" She wasn't moving her legs were paralyzed so then everyone was teasing her since she was in a wheelchair with a sling on her arm and both legs in a cast. I thanked him for helping me, and he said, "No problem. I don't think she will bother you again." And he was right." [OK, if this story is true, which I'm not completely convinced of, everyone involved in this story, especially the narrator, needs to seek therapy.]
***

"My roommate for my first semester at college was a pain in the *&^. The first incident takes place on the Saturday AFTER move in. On that Saturday, at 10 at night, is when he decides to move in. He brings nothing but his clothes, his radio and CD's, and himself. I have to provide everything. TV, microwave, carpet, the whole nine yards. The only thing he offers to get is the refrigerator, on the stipulation that I will buy it back at the end of the year, or semester, which ever one he decides that he is leaving. But the last straw was when I came back after a weekend at home. I walked in to find the room trashed, beer and alcohol bottles strewn all over the place. I found my posters (I even had to furnish the decorations), ripped and [with] holes in them. I found my kitchen ware all over the place. He did have his own. Four or five of my bags of popcorn popped. I know it sounds anal, but he didn't share any of his food with me. I found a deck of my good poker playing cards, cut up with his 'Leatherman' tool laying right next to them. I found ash (I think it was pot ash) on my CPU of my computer. My drawers had been rummaged through, and my bed had been slept in! The most annoying habit, besides his smell, was that given the chance, he would sleep all day. And during finals, he would do just that. Because he was sleeping, and I being the courteous individual, wasn't allowed to do anything in the room. And in a college of mostly commuters, in the middle of December, their wasn't a whole lot of room. And of course I couldn't study in the room, in the conditions that I study in, such things like light, and a little background music. So for my first semester in college, it was a living HELL."
***

"Freshman year started out great for me. Towards the end of 1st semester, her true colors started to come out. She smoked up every night, developed this hacking cough that kept me up at nights, NEVER went to class or did her homework and started seeing someone new in the dorms. Now I could have dealt with the other new habits, but I could not deal with her having this new b-friend sleep over EVERY night (while he had a single) and I certainly did not enjoy listening to them having sex on the bunk under me. Then as if that wasn't bad enough, every morning, I had to wake up to his FAT,HAIRY GUT passed out on her bed and get dressed in the bathroom because he was still there. We obviously drifted apart and she made new friends (pot heads like herself) who felt no remorse in coming in the room at 4 AM and poking my bed to see if I was in there and sleeping. She also moved back into the dorms 2 weeks earlier than I did over the break between semesters and thought nothing of turning our room into PARTY CENTRAL. I came in to find beer bottles, cigarettes, joints and god knows what else all over my room. She also had one of her friends move into my half of the room while I was gone and literally take over (her clothes were in my closet, her sheets were on my bed) My radio was broken since she spilt a cup of coffee in the CD player and decided to see if it still worked. I NEVER WAS SO HAPPY IN MY LIFE AS I WAS ON THEDAY THAT I MOVED OUT OF THAT ROOM!"

"Aside from other typical bad roomie behavior, Nadia, an exchange student from Barbados would regularly go through my *private and personal* stuff. Unfortunately, I didn't find this out until I returned after a weekend home to find a sex toy lying in the middle of the floor... crusty. Needless to say, I was horrified. Not about the toy being found, but that she *used* it, then left it *CRUSTY* in the middle of the floor. Yuck."